PTSD and Steroid Use

Dolf

Moderator

I personally never had to deal with PTSD, but I know many hard as nails and fearless men who have. Many of our men and women who've witnessed the terror and violence of war do suffer with PTSD. Many refuse to admit it, and do not seek help for fear of looking weak. Which imo anyone who's been on the two way firing range may be able to be called many things, but weak is not one of them.

In the experience of our vets here who have both had or have PTSD, and have cycled would you recommend aas, and if yes or no...why?

My question is an effort to hopefully help someone who has PTSD understand whether or not it's a good idea to run cycles with PTSD.

 
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icdeadlifters

Guest

Dolf said:
</p><p>I personally never had to deal with PTSD, but I know many hard as nails and fearless men who have. Many of our men and women who've witnessed the terror and violence of war do suffer with PTSD. Many refuse to admit it, and do not seek help for fear of looking weak. Which imo anyone who's been on the two way firing range may be able to be called many things, but weak is not one of them.</p><p>In the experience of our vets here who have both had or have PTSD, and have cycled would you recommend aas, and if yes or no...why?</p><p>My question is an effort to hopefully help someone who has PTSD understand whether or not it's a good idea to run cycles with PTSD.</p><p>
.  </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I suffer from severe p.t.s.d. My experience from running numerous cycles it can get to you. Like Tren will make me highly aggressive. Test at high doses (750mg+) will make me paranoid. And sometimes when I'm not cycling I can go into severe depression. For me I have gotten into legal shit due to a.a.s. use and p.t.s.d. But I can't really say whether I would change it. But IMHO.... I'd be very careful running gear. Now I just keep doses low and pyramid up until I get my limit and from years of doing a.a.s. I know that threshold. Like I said earlier I love Tren.... But I have to be very careful while running that.... Hell even dbol. I usually isolate and focus heavily on my current cycle, diet, training.... Etc. Because I know I'm a dangerous individual on gear. And you right it took me years to admit that I suffered from a " mental" disease. Because I would think people thought I was "crazy", but I've learned over the years with therapy and medications....." That I have choices now" I didn't in active duty. This plagues me every hr of every day. I wasn't born to kill..... I was taught to kill. My advice to someone who is new to a.a.s. and suffers from p.t.s.d. Make a journal of your life and thoughts 6 months prior to cycle, then start cycle keep a journal and monitor the same while on cycle and if you notice signs of trouble then you know you can't run gear. I believe that if you're on point with your mental state then you should be fine. But its nothing to play with.</p><p> </p><p>Nice post, and thank you again mods, admin, and members of m.g.</p><p> </p><p>Oooooh rahhhhhh</p><p>Semper fi</p>
 

SemperFi

Well-known member

IC,

Thank you for your honesty and your willingness to share your experience. You know you are never alone in PTSD or AAS. We have your six!

SEMPER FI

 
I

icdeadlifters

Guest

SemperFi said:
</p><p>IC,</p><p>Thank you for your honesty and your willingness to share your experience. You know you are never alone in PTSD or AAS. We have your six!</p><p>SEMPER FI</p><p>
. </p><p> </p><p>I know brother.... Sometimes its hard to cope. But I pull through. Its good to know I got fellow bia to turn to as yourself and others....</p><p> </p><p>Oooooh rahhhhhh</p><p> </p>
 

Dolf

Moderator

Thanks for your input and experiences IC +2! Reading that brought tears to my eyes because I hate to see my Brothers in Arms suffer from this. I really like the journal idea a lot! That should be SOP for sure!

 
I

icdeadlifters

Guest

Dolf said:
</p><p>Thanks for your input and experiences IC +2! Reading that brought tears to my eyes because I hate to see my Brothers in Arms suffer from this. I really like the journal idea a lot! That should be SOP for sure!</p><p>
.  </p><p> </p><p>X2 brother I keep a daily journal and its amazing what you do and think that you don't even realize.</p>
 

Dolf

Moderator

Yes sir...in my experience in dealing with BIA and PTSD is talking about it with others who understand is some of the best medicine.

 
I

icdeadlifters

Guest

Dolf said:
</p><p>Yes sir...in my experience in dealing with BIA and PTSD is talking about it with others who understand is some of the best medicine.</p><p>
. </p><p> </p><p>X2 brother... X2</p>
 

strong

Member

This Helps me IC as someone diagnosed with PTSD. I am no Services Vet. I've seen Ugly many times and I've done ugly...  As a kid, poverty, abuse and prison was what made me angry but that was chicken shit. No big deal. "i will show everybody who I am"  At 25 years old I met my ex wife. I went to work and kept my head down in hopes of reinventing myself. I did just that. after years she had some problems that led her to alcohol, Then alcohol abuse.  Rehab after rehab, I found a rehab for professionals in FL.  The very man that was supposed to help her Raped her. She tried to kill herself and I went to FL to see her. She revealed what happened and I went to his Trailer and ended him. This got me 3 years for manslaughter because there were no weapons involved and that spur of the moment reaction. Nothing like a world class ass whipping finished off with a rear naked choke to finish off that scumbag.  At 39 YO I was let out and went back to work.  I never recovered on this one. I figured to bury myself with work.  That doesn't work. It wasn't what I did to the guy. Shit, I did the world a favor.  It was the loss of my wife and her innocence.

Jumping forward. AAS use has helped me feel dominant again but extremely aggressive. I am learning to control myself and for me, AAS use has brought back some confidence. I was out of control drinking, fighting and on another path of destruction. Some of you saw my pics at 290 and sloppy. I now look great and feel great except some injuries that have taken over.  I feel AAS use has helped me with getting my confidence back. I have a lot of work to do on the emotional side of life. The good thing is I want to do it and keep the dreams alive.

I cant believe I made it through this post. I have been trying to write it for 2 hrs now in between crying and wicked bad feelings...

 

 I hope I haven't steeped out of bounds Dolf. As the thread is for Vets. You are right. I need to talk about this shit... I am not a services Vet but I would do whatever I had to do till my last breath if need be with any one of you Men and women...

 

Thank you......

 

JARHEAD2

New member
PTSD is not indeed only for veterans my brother. The fact is many suffer from it on many different levels and for many different reasons. What may seem a small situation to one person can make another one suffer for years or sometimes a lifetime. Healing the wounds of the past is critical to overcoming the pain associated with the wound. Trust me I know!!! Wounds do heal & often leaves ugly scars, but scars is proof that wounds heal. Our past does not define us or who we are it's today that defines us. I choose to die fighting. I will fight to live right, treat others right not based upon merit or worth, continually strive to better myself first & foremost in the spiritual man & then my physical man, I will work to make out family's life better & protect them, I will continue to push forward to be a help to someone who needs it & make a difference and hat last a lifetime in someone else's life. I hike I may not achieve all these goals to the intent I desire, I choose to die trying!! Strong my dear brother, & I mean that from heart, I honestly believe New Year 2016 you made that same decision & you've overcome so many obstacles & made me a proud man. If you were the only person I could ever reach & help, you my friend have made it worth it all!! The past does not define us & wounds do indeed heal! Strong you're an inspiration & living proof!!
Thanks for sharing your heart & know without fail that you can talk to many anytime & anywhere. ( you're one of the few who have my cell #) Call, text, pm or post anytime bro. It helps more than you!!
I love you brother & I am in your corner!!
 

strong

Member

Thanks Jar, You damn well know when I started this quest. 2016 has just been a ground breaker before I start to dig deep. My search for happiness has changed to contentment. I was speaking with another friend here who shed that light on me. He spoke words and I pondered it for quite a while and realized that's what I'm looking for. To be content.  A handful of people on MG have reached me by honoring their word and doing what they say their going to do... It makes me believe....

 
I

icdeadlifters

Guest

strong said:
</p><p>This Helps me IC as someone diagnosed with PTSD. I am no Services Vet. I've seen Ugly many times and I've done ugly...  As a kid, poverty, abuse and prison was what made me angry but that was chicken shit. No big deal. "i will show everybody who I am"  At 25 years old I met my ex wife. I went to work and kept my head down in hopes of reinventing myself. I did just that. after years she had some problems that led her to alcohol, Then alcohol abuse.  Rehab after rehab, I found a rehab for professionals in FL.  The very man that was supposed to help her Raped her. She tried to kill herself and I went to FL to see her. She revealed what happened and I went to his Trailer and ended him. This got me 3 years for manslaughter because there were no weapons involved and that spur of the moment reaction. Nothing like a world class ass whipping finished off with a rear naked choke to finish off that scumbag.  At 39 YO I was let out and went back to work.  I never recovered on this one. I figured to bury myself with work.  That doesn't work. It wasn't what I did to the guy. Shit, I did the world a favor.  It was the loss of my wife and her innocence.</p><p>Jumping forward. AAS use has helped me feel dominant again but extremely aggressive. I am learning to control myself and for me, AAS use has brought back some confidence. I was out of control drinking, fighting and on another path of destruction. Some of you saw my pics at 290 and sloppy. I now look great and feel great except some injuries that have taken over.  I feel AAS use has helped me with getting my confidence back. I have a lot of work to do on the emotional side of life. The good thing is I want to do it and keep the dreams alive.</p><p>I cant believe I made it through this post. I have been trying to write it for 2 hrs now in between crying and wicked bad feelings...</p><p> </p><p> I hope I haven't steeped out of bounds Dolf. As the thread is for Vets. You are right. I need to talk about this shit... I am not a services Vet but I would do whatever I had to do till my last breath if need be with any one of you Men and women...</p><p> </p><p>Thank you......</p><p>
. </p><p> </p><p>Beautiful post strong and quite sad.... I feel your pain and it's hard to do things like that. You are much likme without the military. I've followed your post and see you have the "short fuse" syndrome as I do. I would have done the same to that coward. But we have to live with that for the rest of our lives whether we regret or not. There's another member here that also did the similar thing you did....(not gonna post the member) but he knows who I'm talking about. He also went and had to do shit to protect their families. After all said and done we have to live with that. I have to leave into the darkest hills to get away during fireworks, I can't smell gun powder, you can't wake me, I smell death at times. But I believe a.a.s. has changed me quite a bit that sense of well being is the catalyst that keeps me sane. It's good to hear you and others to chime in on this subject.....</p><p> </p><p>Oooooh rahhhh</p>
 
I

icdeadlifters

Guest

Found this article once and its kinda interesting.

 

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2006/09/060912231707.htm

 

Dolf

Moderator

Thanks for sharing strong! PTSD affects more than just vets. I think you did society a favor as well. Many vets are in prisons and jails because they compartmentalize these feelings deep down inside, and cope by reverting to alcohol, drugs, and or lashing out at others with violence, and your story sounds the same. You know how I feel about who you are and the type of man you've become. I'm proud to be able to call you my friend. You're a prime example of no matter how bad it is there's always a light st the end of the tunnel.

 
I

icdeadlifters

Guest

blastthru23 said:
</p><p>Much respect my friend, thank you for your service, honesty. Im humbled.</p><p>
.  </p><p> </p><p>Was an honor</p>
 
I

icdeadlifters

Guest

SemperFi said:
</p><p>Even in the off season you are stilling mining for gold IC.</p><p>SEMPER FI</p><p>
. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>https://goo.gl/images/4ob2</p>
 

Gear2Go

New member

This will touch personal experience but also experience with my closest friends whoI served with.

Not every person who suffers from PTSD is a crazy psycho, which sadly much of the general public thinks. It can be social disorders, that limits ones person to ability to communicate in larger crowds. It can show itself in over protectiveness of family and friends. It can show itself internally (me) where you continually watch every person and what they are doing, what there body language says, watching hands and movements. 

The gym can be a safe zone for many guys and gals who suffer from PTSD. Its a place they are not overwhelmed and in control.The desire to be better in that one place can take over everything else. For those people, as long as they don't have pre existing anger issues, AAS are semi therapeutic. It keeps their mind focusing on their goals and allows them control of that goal. Many soldiers used AAS while serving too, so they are use to the ability to use these substances. 

I think in extreme cases, it can be very harmful. I have two friends who come to mind. Both these guys served on tours very early on during Operation Iraqi Freedom. They both are normally hot heads, and have anger issues. Upon returning they have gradually became worse. Also both have been on several medications for PTSD/ anger/ depression. For them i think changing their hormones is not a good idea. 

 
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