Family

[Parameddog]

Mother in law is going through kidney failure at present; father in law has early stages of dementia. My wife and I are doing the mainstay of the care when needed and I'm interpreting blood results and reports into laymans terms.

My brother in law is in total denial - so far so that he today said that her kidney results (eGfr and others) are good when they're awful. The fact they are better than previous results eludes him entirely.

Whilst I love him as a decent brother, he is best suited to being an Ostrich, and sticking his head in the sand. Awful. I am so fucked and stressed it is really bringing me down.

I saw similar in my own mum n dad and my brother - all three now dead and it is happening again. So so tired of this.

 

[BulkinWes]

Mother in law is going through kidney failure at present; father in law has early stages of dementia. My wife and I are doing the mainstay of the care when needed and I'm interpreting blood results and reports into laymans terms.

My brother in law is in total denial - so far so that he today said that her kidney results (eGfr and others) are good when they're awful. The fact they are better than previous results eludes him entirely.

Whilst I love him as a decent brother, he is best suited to being an Ostrich, and sticking his head in the sand. Awful. I am so fucked and stressed it is really bringing me down.

I saw similar in my own mum n dad and my brother - all three now dead and it is happening again. So so tired of this.

man im terribly sorry to hear this bro i really hope dialysis can get them babies back jump started. Whats your point of view on being stressed and why? mainly because the wife or were you and the in law close?

 

[unclem]

sorry to hear this dog, i know the feeling of going into renal failure i hope your ok dog as it can be streeful for sure. my sister died young so i can relate, i know its hard but keep your chin up dog and kick some ass on the weights brother.

 

[Vail 61]

Mother in law is going through kidney failure at present; father in law has early stages of dementia. My wife and I are doing the mainstay of the care when needed and I'm interpreting blood results and reports into laymans terms.

My brother in law is in total denial - so far so that he today said that her kidney results (eGfr and others) are good when they're awful. The fact they are better than previous results eludes him entirely.

Whilst I love him as a decent brother, he is best suited to being an Ostrich, and sticking his head in the sand. Awful. I am so fucked and stressed it is really bringing me down.

I saw similar in my own mum n dad and my brother - all three now dead and it is happening again. So so tired of this.

I can relate lost my Dad last week to cancer the hospice care was a joke my sister bailed on me I had to watch his last days of his life I've never been thru anything like it. I watched the strongest man ( not just physical strength) go in such a terrible way. Just throw it all in the gym it's been very helpful for me anyway

 

[Parameddog]

Thanks all - I needed to vent. I cannot do that in front of my wife as she is really sad and frustrated at her brothers selfish attitude.

I see the numbers, I see the change in my mother in law and then, when asked what they mean, get shouted at for being negative. It is so frustrating...

 

[BulkinWes]

Hey bro just stay positive as you can and comfort your wife to the best of your abilities man I know it’s sad but it is life so you know at the end of the day gotta be there for the wife. But shit yeah man always vent here man we all here for you bro. And then If there’s anything I can help with don’t hesitate reaching out.

Thanks all - I needed to vent. I cannot do that in front of my wife as she is really sad and frustrated at her brothers selfish attitude.

I see the numbers, I see the change in my mother in law and then, when asked what they mean, get shouted at for being negative. It is so frustrating...

 

[Gainz.]

As far as the ostrich...
Sometimes... It's blind optimism.
Sometimes... That's a good thing!
I'm a pessimist... Always see the bad... Always!
I've seen so much bad... It's just where my brain goes because that's usually what happens.
But... Sometimes... You get that break. That glimmer of hope...
I'm sure he knows how bad it is... But saying it out loud makes it real.
My girl is a optimistic... I think that's why we work so well together. We balance each other out.
So... Instead of letting him drive you crazy (trust me I get it) lean into it!
Maybe... Just maybe... This is one of those times when it all works out for the best.
Because if there's 1 thing I've learned... No matter how you spend your days thinking about the situation... It's not gonna change the situation.
So why not lean into the hope... Maybe it works out, maybe it doesn't. But at least you didn't spend the days leading up to it pissed off and angry!

Trust me... Writing this and reading this is much easier than actually doing it. It's still something I'm working on myself

 

[unclem]

how did your mother -n- law find out she was in renal failure dog , did her feet hands swell up? my face swelled up thats how i knew something wasnt wright.

 

[unclem]

if i were you dog i wouldnt worry about this as she is probably get better like i did 4 days mine lasted with iv's and medication to take away the edema. your in my prayers.

 

[unclem]

I can relate lost my Dad last week to cancer the hospice care was a joke my sister bailed on me I had to watch his last days of his life I've never been thru anything like it. I watched the strongest man ( not just physical strength) go in such a terrible way. Just throw it all in the gym it's been very helpful for me anyway

hospice is a joke it sucks. if i know iam going iam dying at home. iam sorry vail you lost your dad, last week the best thing you can do is hit the weights go crazy on them youll feel better, again ill say a prayer for you.

 

[Vail 61]

hospice is a joke it sucks. if i know iam going iam dying at home. iam sorry vail you lost your dad, last week the best thing you can do is hit the weights go crazy on them youll feel better, again ill say a prayer for you.

Tha k you

 

[Parameddog]

how did your mother -n- law find out she was in renal failure dog , did her feet hands swell up? my face swelled up thats how i knew something wasnt wright.

She essentially collapsed at home - had bloods at her GPs - bloods returned with her egfr at 9! anything under 60 is CKD - I thought they would smack her onto dialysis - they rehydrated her and the kidneys kicked back in - they have done that 2x now. The third time she was to have that, they sent her home - I do not know what the egfr was on that day

 

[Parameddog]

I can relate lost my Dad last week to cancer the hospice care was a joke my sister bailed on me I had to watch his last days of his life I've never been thru anything like it. I watched the strongest man ( not just physical strength) go in such a terrible way. Just throw it all in the gym it's been very helpful for me anyway

I lost my old man in 2003. Cancer, lost my mum in 2009 also cancer and my brother 2019 peritonitis - it sucks. Nothing you can say apart from - focus your mind and stay strong

 

[Gainz.]

I lost my old man in 2003. Cancer, lost my mum in 2009 also cancer and my brother 2019 peritonitis - it sucks. Nothing you can say apart from - focus your mind and stay strong

I'm pretty sure that's what killed my grandma... A death I still haven't properly delt with. Even though it's going on 2.5 years ago.
She had a infection in her stomach... Because she was such a tough old bird she thought she could sleep it off. By the time my grandpa convinced her to go to the doctor... The damage was too much and she couldn't recover.
But the infection ate through her stomach and she went septic. Maybe it's not the exact same thing... But I could of sworn that's the world I heard.
But yeah she was 100% fine until she wasn't. I talked to her the day before she went into the hospital. She just said she had a stomach ache. 9hrs later she was in the ER and 30hrs later she passed.
That shit gave me such a fucking fear of infections. Just how fast shit can go south... From thinking "man that taco bell is hitting different" to dead... Scares the hell out of me

 

[Parameddog]

I'm pretty sure that's what killed my grandma... A death I still haven't properly delt with. Even though it's going on 2.5 years ago.
She had a infection in her stomach... Because she was such a tough old bird she thought she could sleep it off. By the time my grandpa convinced her to go to the doctor... The damage was too much and she couldn't recover.
But the infection ate through her stomach and she went septic. Maybe it's not the exact same thing... But I could of sworn that's the world I heard.
But yeah she was 100% fine until she wasn't. I talked to her the day before she went into the hospital. She just said she had a stomach ache. 9hrs later she was in the ER and 30hrs later she passed.
That shit gave me such a fucking fear of infections. Just how fast shit can go south... From thinking "man that taco bell is hitting different" to dead... Scares the hell out of me

It is utter crap brother - I told all three they need hospital - not one listened - the guilt you ingrain is awful - only way to think about it is that she is in a better place. You always have my ear if you need it!

 

[BulkinWes]

i deal with all of it with humor which works best for me even though i guess it doesnt actually make it better but i just had to start saying f it cuz i got a handful of family left. Just kinda like one of those things i know everyones different but still end of the day gotta keep moving forward and reminisce on the good times easier said than done at times but it gets better especially when its over bearing and your like how much can i handle you can handle alot more so stay strong and keep lifting its the best thing fore the body and the mind. And humor lol my last granparent died last year i think and at work they said they were gonna get a card for my granpa so of course my rebuttal was "well fuck hes dead he doesnt need a get well soon card guys".... lmao

 

[unclem]

I'm pretty sure that's what killed my grandma... A death I still haven't properly delt with. Even though it's going on 2.5 years ago.
She had a infection in her stomach... Because she was such a tough old bird she thought she could sleep it off. By the time my grandpa convinced her to go to the doctor... The damage was too much and she couldn't recover.
But the infection ate through her stomach and she went septic. Maybe it's not the exact same thing... But I could of sworn that's the world I heard.
But yeah she was 100% fine until she wasn't. I talked to her the day before she went into the hospital. She just said she had a stomach ache. 9hrs later she was in the ER and 30hrs later she passed.
That shit gave me such a fucking fear of infections. Just how fast shit can go south... From thinking "man that taco bell is hitting different" to dead... Scares the hell out of me

iam scared of getting sepsis that shit kills quick, iam using hand sanitizer to wipe my shot spot i should be using alchol pads. sorry to hear your grama died bandit. like dog said shes in a better place, i can vouch for that cause i was dead at my heart attack, it was very peaceful. yeah but injection infection scares me too so your not alone brother.

 

[unclem]

She essentially collapsed at home - had bloods at her GPs - bloods returned with her egfr at 9! anything under 60 is CKD - I thought they would smack her onto dialysis - they rehydrated her and the kidneys kicked back in - they have done that 2x now. The third time she was to have that, they sent her home - I do not know what the egfr was on that day

wow, could of broke something in the fall, yeah thats all they did for me , fluids, iam glad she made it through cause the dr told me that it always dont turn out like that.

 

[suppsforlife]

so sorry brother. don't even know what to say. just hoping you'll be fine brother. gym usually does a great job to relieve stress and depression...

 

[Gainz.]

i deal with all of it with humor which works best for me even though i guess it doesnt actually make it better but i just had to start saying f it cuz i got a handful of family left. Just kinda like one of those things i know everyones different but still end of the day gotta keep moving forward and reminisce on the good times easier said than done at times but it gets better especially when its over bearing and your like how much can i handle you can handle alot more so stay strong and keep lifting its the best thing fore the body and the mind. And humor lol my last granparent died last year i think and at work they said they were gonna get a card for my granpa so of course my rebuttal was "well fuck hes dead he doesnt need a get well soon card guys".... lmao

I'm the same fucking way... The day of her funeral it was 16° out and windy as hell. The rest of the week it was high 40s.
During the funeral I said "she's definitely doing this too see who loves her the most... She wants to see who leaves early"
Some people got it... Other's didn't and got pretty upset.
But humor is just what I go too... For better or worse humor has gotten me through a lot. It's also gotten me into a lot of trouble.
I realize I have a fucked up sense of humor... I'm sure most of you guys get that.
The joke's I make about myself... My girl... Our crazy sex life... I have no filter.

I have to share this story... You can decide if I'm just a asshole or not.
About 5 years ago my buddy was dating this girl, they came over before our dinner plans.
She starts telling us how just a few days prior her mom's boyfriend beat her mother and threw her down a flight of stairs.
She hit her head which caused her to lose her hearing.
Soo... (I just couldn't fucking stop myself)
I looked at this girl sharing this terrible story (way to bring the fucking mood down) and I said
"So let me get this straight... He beat her to deaf"

..... Yoo... My buddy straight up lost his shit.
Like uncontrollably laughing (he's got the same fucked up humor I do)
Needless to say this girl did not think it was funny.
Which I understand... I totally get it... but... How do you not go for the joke?
And no... I don't think men beating women is funny... I don't like it...I don't Support it. If you hit women you're a fucking coward.
But... It was fucking funny.... At least I thought it was. I just don't have the ability not to go for the joke. Especially when it's a fucking banger.

So... Be honest... Was the joke funny? Or am I just a asshole?
But I firmly believe you can joke about the worst possible shit...
Like I Don't like the word rape... It's too aggressive... I prefer to call it a cuddle with a struggle.

Or what does broccoli and anal sex have in common?
If they were forced on you as a child... You probably won't enjoy them as a adult.
Solid funny fucking jokes.
But no... The act of Rape and child molestation isn't fucking funny.
At all...but... You can say some words and make it funny.