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Guest
Guest
I wanted to make this post solely because I think it needs to exist in order to help someone who may be dealing with similar circumstances as me. Yesterday I started self administering TRT. I initially sought help from multiple doctors, but have hit brick walls every time I tried to get one to help me.
Last year I researched both sides of the coin: blast and cruise or PCT. I easily concluded that PCT was always the better option. I definitely judged the blast and cruise crowd and had a hard time seeing why they could think their way was best. I never imagined that I'd be starting TRT at 29.
There's obviously not much literature on men in their 20s starting TRT. I had to speak directly to guys who compete to find examples. And there is definitely no shortage of guys, younger than myself even, who blast and cruise.
It's obviously an intensely personal decision. It's not one I made lightly. Prior to my first cycle, I knew my test was more toward the lower end of the range. When I was 17 I shot 500mg a week of Test E for 5 weeks and then stopped. No PCT. No AI during. I didn't know was those things were. I was a bad pothead for about 10 years during this time (more than an ounce a week). I dove into heavy cocaine addiction at 22, crack at 23. I swear to God I went an entire year without sleeping more than 2 hours a night. I got clean at 24, but the damage to my hormones had been done. I did my best to maximize my natural gains. I would diet hard and the fat would never come off. I hit a ceiling on strength at 26 and my squat still isn't close to what it was when I was 17. I had my T tested at a little over 400 when I was 27, a month before I started my first cycle (not counting the 5 weeker when I was 17).
The biggest thing affecting my decision came in watching videos made my a TRT doctor on YouTube who explained that what's considered low for one person might be high for someone else and vice versa. I wish I has the bloods to ascertain this, but I believe my natural hormonal output was badly perturbed by the "cycle" I ran at 17. Prior to that cycle I was a good student/athlete with a bright future. I was being recruited by colleges to play football and I felt like I was in control of my destiny. Once I came off, I started making bad decisions, dropped out of school and started getting involved with drugs.
My experience after 3 cycles has led me to conclude that I will never go through another PCT again. To be honest, the slight loss of gains I've experienced has little to do with the decision. The quality of my life with test levels in the low 400s and under is unbearable. I am so far removed from the man I've built myself to be that neither I nor the people closest to me can recognize who I am. Anxiety, depression, lethargy, lack of motivation, lack of control over my thoughts, I'm bothered by things I would normally never allow myself to be bothered by, I bitch and moan and complain about things I would never even notice, I can't fall asleep, I can't stay asleep, I worry incessantly about money and the future and myself, I dont get excited about anything ever, I isolate myself and shut my phone off for days at a time, I think about killing myself several times a day.
I have no history of mental illness. Since I've gotten clean I have been moving my life in a positive direction and I've gone from being homeless and destitute to having a six figure salary, living on my own, supporting myself and earning the trust of my family back in five years. And now I truly believe that the natural state of my testosterone is what threatens all that I've built.
I don't really want to be on TRT at 29. But if I have to choose between pinning twice a week for life or watching the mind and body that I have worked so fucking hard to restore and rebuild completely waste away, give me the fucking syringe.
I made this decision because I believe it's the one that is going to allow me to live a life worth living. I didn't do one cycle, PCT, lose half my gains and decide that PCT wasn't for me. I think that's bullshit. I believe that TRT is going to save my life. So that's my motivation behind it. I hope that I can help someone with this. I sure know I wish I had a post like this to read a couple months ago.
Last year I researched both sides of the coin: blast and cruise or PCT. I easily concluded that PCT was always the better option. I definitely judged the blast and cruise crowd and had a hard time seeing why they could think their way was best. I never imagined that I'd be starting TRT at 29.
There's obviously not much literature on men in their 20s starting TRT. I had to speak directly to guys who compete to find examples. And there is definitely no shortage of guys, younger than myself even, who blast and cruise.
It's obviously an intensely personal decision. It's not one I made lightly. Prior to my first cycle, I knew my test was more toward the lower end of the range. When I was 17 I shot 500mg a week of Test E for 5 weeks and then stopped. No PCT. No AI during. I didn't know was those things were. I was a bad pothead for about 10 years during this time (more than an ounce a week). I dove into heavy cocaine addiction at 22, crack at 23. I swear to God I went an entire year without sleeping more than 2 hours a night. I got clean at 24, but the damage to my hormones had been done. I did my best to maximize my natural gains. I would diet hard and the fat would never come off. I hit a ceiling on strength at 26 and my squat still isn't close to what it was when I was 17. I had my T tested at a little over 400 when I was 27, a month before I started my first cycle (not counting the 5 weeker when I was 17).
The biggest thing affecting my decision came in watching videos made my a TRT doctor on YouTube who explained that what's considered low for one person might be high for someone else and vice versa. I wish I has the bloods to ascertain this, but I believe my natural hormonal output was badly perturbed by the "cycle" I ran at 17. Prior to that cycle I was a good student/athlete with a bright future. I was being recruited by colleges to play football and I felt like I was in control of my destiny. Once I came off, I started making bad decisions, dropped out of school and started getting involved with drugs.
My experience after 3 cycles has led me to conclude that I will never go through another PCT again. To be honest, the slight loss of gains I've experienced has little to do with the decision. The quality of my life with test levels in the low 400s and under is unbearable. I am so far removed from the man I've built myself to be that neither I nor the people closest to me can recognize who I am. Anxiety, depression, lethargy, lack of motivation, lack of control over my thoughts, I'm bothered by things I would normally never allow myself to be bothered by, I bitch and moan and complain about things I would never even notice, I can't fall asleep, I can't stay asleep, I worry incessantly about money and the future and myself, I dont get excited about anything ever, I isolate myself and shut my phone off for days at a time, I think about killing myself several times a day.
I have no history of mental illness. Since I've gotten clean I have been moving my life in a positive direction and I've gone from being homeless and destitute to having a six figure salary, living on my own, supporting myself and earning the trust of my family back in five years. And now I truly believe that the natural state of my testosterone is what threatens all that I've built.
I don't really want to be on TRT at 29. But if I have to choose between pinning twice a week for life or watching the mind and body that I have worked so fucking hard to restore and rebuild completely waste away, give me the fucking syringe.
I made this decision because I believe it's the one that is going to allow me to live a life worth living. I didn't do one cycle, PCT, lose half my gains and decide that PCT wasn't for me. I think that's bullshit. I believe that TRT is going to save my life. So that's my motivation behind it. I hope that I can help someone with this. I sure know I wish I had a post like this to read a couple months ago.
