anxiety issue

[ESmetalhead]

Its been slow on here so I’ll share my problem with you all and hope you can shed some light.
Forgive my grammar and disorganization writing this has me cursing in frustration but I’m gittin r done.

So Ive been on an overdosed Test Cypionate since May 10th my first blood test showed me at a 1280 total test and 266 free I lowered my dose of Test Cypionate after that I lowered the dose and added in a pct combo to lower my estrogen  Nolva 20mg Adex. 5mg and proviron 25mgs  Ive been taking HALF of these capsules every 4 days or so ever since I was getting acne on my back.   With my lower dose of Test and the PCT combo the acne cleared up and I was still recovering nicely from intense workouts

Sept 30th I switched to  75 Test Cypionate and 62cc Deca a week.  I was guessing the Cypionate dose was remaining the same I was just adding some Deca
About the 4th week  I just started seeing gains then very soon after I was waking up at 2am and then at 4am  and every night after with anxiety, it fucking sucks!.  I guessed it was the Deca or prolactin and stopped the Deca and went back to the old Test Cyp Id been using at an even lower dose.  

 I also got a blood test on Nov 10th about 10 days after my last shot  my testosterone its a little lower than I want at 555, I think 700-750 would be fine with me.   My my prolactin was 5.5 previously now its low at 1.1 I guess because of the little bit of Caber I took a few times and I only mean 2-3 times because I thought deca effected my prolactin and caused the anxiety .  I've was still taking that PCT combo from with Nolva20mg Adex.5mg and proviron 25mgs 

It's been 3-4 weeks since my last shot of Deca and I would guess at least a week since I took  a dose of Nolva10mg Adex .25mg and provision 25mgs.   So what do you guys think is going on beside I’m just crazy?  Is it the Deca?  19 Nors have a reputation for emotional sides but the dose is so low.  Could it be because my estrogen is so low?  My Estradiol as gone from 85 (When my T was 1280)  to 3! Before starting TRT my Estradiol level was 59.   I wonder if my bottomed out estrogen could be the cause of the anxiety.   If I would have taken better records of how much and when I took the PCT combo then I might have a better idea.  Through all of this my sex drive has been pretty much the same maybe somewhat less the 3-4th week but not by much. 

unsubstantiated, irrational fear coming out of nowhere is pretty demoralizing so whatever caused this I dont want to repeat.  Thanks for any help 

 

[Dolf]

Did you say your e2 was 3? Or is that a typo?

 

[ESmetalhead]

I'm prone to typos but yes 3

 

[blastthru23]

One thought that occurred to me is if you're taking any other pharmaceuticals to combat emotional issues, there may be an interaction between the aas and the pharmaceuticals. It may be a good idea to look into that issue if that is the case tho you may have to do some deep digging since in the US, as you know, aas is a bit of a taboo subject. However, with rise in trt, there may be some research and information on drug interactions. I recall reading, for example, that seroquell plays havoc on the endocrine system.

 

[blastthru23]

btw for raising an important question and doing due diligence with your blood work. Its a great example for all of us to follow Metal Man

 

[Dolf]

Before you were running your trt in this manner were you having these anxiety issues? If not what was your protocol? 

 

[Dolf]

Crashed estro can lead to anxiety, but other issues that can cause anxiety are hyperthyroidism (which also cause insomnia) and imbalances in stress homromones adrenaline and cortisol and dhea.

My advice is to start with what you know is wrong which is your e2. Get your e2 back up and let's go from there. An e2 level of 59 is not too high, so I'd definitely lighten up on the ai. I use adex on cycle, but prefer aro when cruising. Since aro is a suicide inhibitor I take it once or twice per week while cruising. I'd also only run the testosterone while cruising for the time being. Remember deca is a very long ester and traces of deca can still be detected many months after stopping even though the half life is much shorter than that.

 

[ESmetalhead]

Anxiety actually led me here looking at solutions for PTSD.  At the time the meds were working and the only problem I was having an irrational was a fear of heights and sometimes when I felt trapped in traffic.   My thyroid is actually a little low.  I'm going to stop the AI's completely Ive not needed them since I lowered my dose of Test Cyp but have been sprinkling it in occasionally.    

 

[ESmetalhead]

I've been taking 20 mgs citalapram for years much of it at 40mgs.  I intially started taking for the reasons Im experiencing now, waking at 4am with my heart trying to beat its way out of my chest.   I've done some looking but Ive not found people talking about trouble with the combination of 19 nors and Celexa.   Seems like almost everything can cause somebody somewhere anxiety.   High doses of Test and high estrogen cause anxiety and I didn't experience it then.  I see citalapram lowers dopamine and nandrolones increase it

I'll keep looking    

 

[ESmetalhead]

Metal man feeling like tin man sure is motivation for examination

this study linked deca to aggression so its effecting the fight or flight response http://scialert.net/fulltext/?doi=jpt.2013.49.59

 

[Dolf]

Answer me this...have you had anxiety issues while using was anytime before this? Or has this been a common issue with was use?

 

[ESmetalhead]

I've had no issues with just the overdosed test cyp.  I was feeling pretty good and challenging myself with some high places.  its just been recently that things have gone to hell.   The lower estrogen and the effects of the deca all seemed to be taking place at the same time as this anxiety so its left me wondering whats to blame.   No new supplements no new problems in my life

 

[JARHEAD2]

Ptsd is not fun. So I’m assuming you’ve had anxiety problems before this & not related to AAS. It could be estrogen or AAS related, but it could be something else altogether my friend. The thing with anxiety & PTSD is everything can be going awesome one moment & for no reason the anxiety hits without explanation. Do you think it could be reasons outside of AAS brother?

 

[ESmetalhead]

I've only had 2 panic attacks and both were when I was do recreational drugs, other than that Ive just had guess what you would call anxiety.   It's odd now thinking about it where do you draw the line between the two.  Those were many years ago and disappeared with the medication.   I can't see any other reasons my life is going very good.  I'm an obsessive thinker and tend to dwell on things.  Sometimes I'm not aware of my feelings.  I'm closing in on 50 and not married and no kids by choice but the window for kids is soon closing.  I've just met a girl that is really amazing its new so I'm obsessing about her a bit.   My fear of heights eats at me and lowers my self esteem but these are just normal problems in life.  Things Ive been thinking about  before to some extent.   The thought that ending aas wouldn't stop these feelings make me anxious.  shit!     Ive never had anxiety this bad and the timing doesn't seem to be a  coincidence.   I guess I should stop everything and hope for the best.... I sure hope its not the exogenous testosterone.  I took a shot today and ive been extra anxious today. 

 

[strong]

I was reading this thread and before I read the part that i'm replying to I said " this guy is an over thinker, possible slight ocd" Then I read a few lines and bang. you said you're an over thinker. I'd have to bet that when you used those recreational drugs you were not 'all in' to just have a good time. You must of had something going on. You may have questioned why you are using them and there go the obsessive thoughts. Well; its a shitstorm from there. 

Sometimes it doesn't matter how your life is going, its the past stuck in the cerebral cortex. Read about the temporal lobe. The brain is very interesting, It stores memory all over it but you might read something that clicks.  ES.. all I can say is I'm an anxious, ocd overthinking nightmare sometimes. These things don't get easier they get worse. It doesn't matter how your current life is going. My life is great for a few years now and I still suffer from the past.  Currently, I'm struggling with some mother fucker that stole my corvette Wed evening at 3 am right out of my driveway. Of course, first, I did what I had to do with the police. Then I started to dwell. The past 2 days I've had to hide from the world because my brain is just thinking the worst thoughts that could be thought. I would love to get graphic here but I wont. This is my challenge to learn and better myself. The only relief I've found from anxiety is to identify when its coming on and stop all thoughts and just go through the motions for a few days. People will say that sounds hard to do. Not really... Just like anything else. Practice. 

Of course we have some other things going on with quick rising hormone levels. When I start cycle, I shut down my emotions for a few weeks.. Sure, I fail here and there but I was a nightmare 3 years ago and working my way back to a 3rd stint in prison.  You have the power to control this. Monitor things of course but most of all, Be easy on yourself.  This all takes practice... I wish you the best..

 

[ESmetalhead]

Well shit I didn't want hear that, I'm going to do my best to change things for the better.  I sure hope I can.   Yeah I dwell on things and I'm a perfectionist its hindrance to happiness for sure .  Ive been mediating to help get control of my thoughts and emotions but its hard as hell to not think but I gotta keep at it.  I found a good therapist a while ago, I think I'll reach out to him again.  Thanks for sharing your story Strong I certainly relate.  In the meantime I want to get my estrogen back to normal I dont know if taking less Cyp or less will do that.  

 

[strong]

2-1/2 years of therapy did it for me. At least it helped me understand the brain functions... I had a thread about meditation. work it brother... It all takes time. 

 

[ESmetalhead]

Thank brother.  

Thanks to all of you

 

[SemperFi]

Straight shooter and a member who shares from personal experience to help others. Thanks Strong for stepping up! +3

 

SEMPER FI

 

[SemperFi]

This is going to sound very cold and possibly misunderstood by the those who simply pass by MG but it will also be completely understood by many.

I thrive on human suffering and so should you. Being able to overcome our own suffering and inspire others to overcome their own is what makes us stand above the average Joe or Jane. A great book I read regularly says, "If you cannot walk with men you will never be able to run with the horses". Even at 50+ years old my every waking hour is focused on being an overcomer and excelling in being the best "me" I can be.

When we face a challenge or find ourselves in a scary place in life I encourage you to take a stand. Do not give ground. Push back and push through. When you feel you cannot take another single step prove yourself wrong and take two!

Each and everyone of us face life challenges. Many times so of us face the same challenges over and over again. If you are a repeater you need to ask yourself "what is the common denominator in every challenge you face?" The answer is..... You.

To overcome our challenges requires us to change one thing.... Ourselves. If we are unable to accept that truth we will continue to be in a spiral of not ever running with the horses.

One of my brightest hopes in life is for EVERY individual to experience the greatness that is inside them. It is there and no one can take it from you. The only thing that is preventing you from accessing that greatness is you.

Working regularly with individuals suffering from anxiety or PTSD has proven to me that most times we make excuses or attempt to find the cause when the reality there is no cause or excuse that can be provided. It is simply part of the individual and that individual needs to decide to be an overcomer to put the challenge behind them and be prepared for the next one that will come..... it is not a matter of If but when.

If we can be prepared for the "when" we will be in the position to slap that bitch back into yesterday!

 

SEMPER FI