fucking xanax brought to my knees. i tryed the aa &na not for me i still am scared to touch one drink, 1 xanax even after 20 yrs i still a the flight o death in me. and the fentyl 100mcg and 6 lortabs a dayNever did any of that. Plenty of friends who have... just not for me. I quit everything by myself... no program or rehab... just my extremely supportive gf.
Xanax was the hardest thing for the first few days. The mental aspect was almost too much at times. It was like 2 other people were living in my head... and we all couldn't stop screaming at one another.
While the opioids... that was all physical, and lasted for weeks.
I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss some of that lifestyle. Coming home from a bad day and taking 6mg of xanax and a few oxy 30s... life didn't get much better than that. But it made me a terrible fucking person. Stole my fucking soul, and I'm slowly getting everything I lost back.
But for the most part I don't think about it, I don't have cravings or anything like that. All the good I felt from those round devils has been replaced with guilt and disgust. But I don't dwell on the past, I just focus on being better than I was yesterday so I can be bigger and stronger tomorrow!